Lits/Sastra, Poems/Puisi

The Unavoidable (So tell me)

Tell me it is not only me
That sometimes life is too much
That it only feels like a stack of must-do’s
A long list of unavoidable demands and orders

Is it only me?
That time seems passing in a way too fast
That it’s more like running with thousands of wild buffalos
That you’re forced to keep going fast, or left dying

Isn’t adulting a thing overrated?
That people push you too hard with their expectation and judgment
That it overwhelms you, as it kills you most of the time

Sometimes you wish
That you had that pause button
That you could press it
So you could take a break

Or, you had that power to go invisible
That you could just disappear
So you would just sit there watching
And free to do nothing

So tell me, or it is only me

Lits/Sastra, Poems/Puisi

Bird in a cage

Mountain bluebird: another amateur watercolor work

So, what am I?
A bird you’d like to keep in a cage
Or a painting you’d love to gaze

You keep me hang at your wall
So you can see me anytime you want
As much as you please to flaunt

But a cage is a cage
I’ll just stay there hanging
And you only want to see me dancing

And a painting is a painting
A thing you’d like to stare
Not even close to anything you wear

(May 5th, 2017)

Cerpen Bahasa Indonesia, Lits/Sastra

Hati Penuh Gores

Ia lambaikan tangannya pada anak-anaknya.

Seperti hari-hari lainnya, ia berangkat kerja dan keberangkatannya akan dilepas oleh ibunya dan kedua anaknya yang masih kecil-kecil. Kadang anak-anaknya sudah mandi karena bangun pagi sekali. Kadang masih berpakaian tidur lengkap dengan rambut semrawut dan kotoran kecil-kecil yang bertengger di matanya.

Tak peduli bau asam khas anak belum mandi, ia akan ciumi satu-satu anaknya. Satu di ubun-ubun sambil bisikkan doa, satu di kening sambil ucap sayang, dan di kedua pipi sambil bilang assalamu’alaikum.

Meski berat ia paksa kakinya berjalan. Terus berjalan. Menjauh dari rumah. Sesekali ia akan menoleh sebelum menghilang di belokan. Kemudian, ia akan mulai merasakannya. Satu torehan kecil lagi di hatinya. Torehan yang muncul setiap meninggalkan anak-anaknya di rumah untuk bekerja. Juga dari rasa takut akan hal buruk yang mungkin saja menimpanya atau anak-anaknya.

Lalu, ia akan mulai berdoa dalam hati. Minta perlindungan Tuhan. Supaya nanti sore bisa kembali dengan selamat tuk peluk anak-anaknya yang masih dalam keadaan sehat wal’afiat.

Empat tahun sudah berlalu. Ia membayangkan, berapa banyak torehan di hatinya. Atau mungkin torehan-torehan itu sudah saling menumpuk, sudah membentuk rupa yang semakin tak karuan.

Ia tersenyum getir. Hatinya pasti penuh gores.

English Short Stories, Lits/Sastra


“I dreamed of him last night,” that was the first thing she said when she noticed I was entering the room. She did not even bother to check who was coming. But she knew, it was me.

She was half lying on the single sofa she put in front of her desk, and rested her head on one side of the arm rest with both feet hanging on the other side. Her eyes were fixed to the window presenting the shadowy  afternoon. But she was not really looking. I knew her mind was somewhere else. Maybe around the dream she just had last night.

“Him? That boy?” I asked her just to make sure because it was almost couple months ago since the last time she talked about that man I only knew from her story. I thought she had forgotten him. And I told her exactly that. Continue reading